Mother’s Day: Career first, child next for women

Despite the fact that fertility declines with age, women want to get established in their careers before starting a family. The positive side of this is that older mothers are likely to have higher education and higher incomes than the younger ones.

Rekha Satyaraj, an IT professional, married for over a year, said, “Parenthood is not in our scheme of things now. It is simply because I am busy with my career.” A senior engineer in a private company Aarti Khanna said, “My profession, unlike in IT, doesn’t have a work from home option. If I think of starting a family, I would be jobless for over two years.”

Dr Diana Monteiro, consultant Psychologist Osmania University said, “I stepped into motherhood at 37. I have more patience now than in my early 20s and more understanding of my child. Nowadays life demands delay in motherhood. Women can delay having a child with fertility treatments.”

Late marriages are also a reason for delayed motherhood. It is just not about career but couples first want to prepare themselves mentally and financially.

Dr Purnima Nagaraja, consultant psychiatrist said, “A young lawyer, who did not want to have a child for 3 to 4 years after marriage, was brought to me by her husband and in-laws. She was under pressure as her in-laws thought she had a phobia of children. I instead counselled her family.”

Older expectant mothers, especially aged 40 or more, are associated with higher health risks for the infants and the mothers, say doctors. India has still not woken up to preserving the ovum. Unlike in western countries, the culture is yet to get a start here.

Dr V.P. Jyotsna, gynaecologist said that after crossing 30, fertility starts declining and chances of natural conception starts coming down. Because of the maternal complication, the baby might have to be delivered early and may require admission and advance care in ICU. In older mothers, the foetus can have complications. Conceiving beyond 35 has high chances of a baby being abnormal because of the chromosome and genetic abnormality and added to that, women over 30 may get hypertension, diabetes during pregnancy and this can be dangerous.

Dr T.P. Karthik, neonatologist said, in first-time mothers giving birth beyond 35 years, a majority carry high risk of babies having Down’s Syndrome. With age, women can also be diagnosed with life-threatening diseases.

“I have seen many couples do rounds of IVF clinics for years. At times, the ones who are not very comfortable with either of the two options too are caught in the confusion. While the idea of marriage does not interest me even though I am of marriageable age, I feel scared thinking of having to go through the process, if I marry late. I have been seriously thinking of egg preservation as that might be of some help,” said a Nandini Shah, a PhD student.

The choice is not only tough to make, but there is also a moral dilemma, say the ones who are facing it. “Mine was not a particularly late marriage. But there were some health issues that led to infertility. After three rounds of IVF treatment, I put on a lot of weight but there was no progress in treating infertility. Over time, I started thinking of surrogacy, but I feel it is not ethical to use a needy woman for such a purpose. Our family is okay with the idea of a surrogate baby. But they are not okay with adoption, as the biological background of the kid is hard to find. I have lived in dilemma and not taken a decision for the last three years,” said N. Kiran, a housewife.