Unlike women, most men are acutely and instinctively aware of what is and isn’t acceptable when it comes to another among their brethren
Ladies and other gentry, I am sure you have heard the phrase “The Bro Code” thrown around and am also certain that many of you have secretly (or openly for that matter) wondered just what it refers to. Is there a guide out there that only men can buy? When was it written and who wrote it? If it isn’t a formally recognised manual, how then do most men end up following it ritualistically and so closely without ever faltering?
Well, allow me to explain. The Bro Code is not a written code, but one that is so ingrained in the male DNA that writing it down couldn’t make it any clearer. Men just know what is acceptable and what is not when it comes to another of their ilk. Let’s face it women, men are quite an endangered species. Over their entire period of existence, all that men have managed to really achieve is survival. If it wasn’t wild animals outside trying to gnaw at us, it was the wilder bint at home or the kids, or aunts and other such, who constantly kept gnawing away at our sanity till the point when we would tip over and decide to give it all up to go live in the hills and found new religious or monastic orders.
The Bro Code is a sanctuary of sanity and sanctity in a world where the gloves are always off. Who hasn’t heard a woman complain how another vile woman tried to ‘destroy her’ at the workplace or the parlour? And we all know a lady who can rant endlessly about how her best friend is now her worst enemy. Women, you see, while they may be many things, aren’t entirely reliable and certainly not with each other. Which is why the relationship between two women is never constant, it ebbs and flows, waxes and wanes. Where two men can maintain the same amount of intimacy for decades without ever feeling the need to change things, women will go through emotional peaks and troughs in some weird cycle.
And the reason for this difference is the Bro Code. Simply put, men don’t tell on men. No matter what I know about another chap and irrespective of how badly we fall apart, both of us know better than to go squealing on each other. We men have our secrets — from stealing office stationery to the times we got drunk and arrested — and neither of the two will ever be shared or spoken of to a third party. What happened to one of our brethren on a late Saturday night, stays within the confines of our minds and goes with us to our graves.
This crucial little form of conduct is the sole reason why men can survive the longest of breaks and shortest of tempers. And it isn’t like we have to try to achieve this state. Walk into a ladies’ washroom and you will hear incessant chatter — women can’t stop exchanging useless bits of information even as they put their make-up on. A mens’ washroom, by comparison, is a place for meditation. It’s silent and orderly. Forget speaking, we don’t even want eye contact. A simple head-nod while looking away is the most communication you will ever see in here and that’s part of the Bro Code too.
If you wish to take a page from our brochure, dear women, and make your lives simpler, follow the Bro Code. Call it the Sister Pact, or whatever. But chances are that you won’t. You can’t. Sure, God built you better but he gave us our advantages. I could tell you more but then the Bro Code keeps me from revealing further.
The writer is a lover of wine, song and everything fine
