Talk about it
What’s the one, taboo-breaking, revolutionary initiative in sex that a lot of couples simply never try? The answer is “talking about it”. There seems to be some unspoken and widespread understanding that moans and occasional shouts are the only acceptable noises to make while in the throes of passion. For the more verbally-inclined, that might extend to some risque talk. But why isn’t a straightforward conversation, or an encouraging direction or two to your partner par for the course in sex? If you aren’t telling him/her what you want, how do you expect to get it? By not talking about your sex lives, you’re settling for sub-par when you really could be spectacular. So do yourselves a favour and talk.
Try at least one new thing
When you think about it, it’s a simple resolution really but one that can have far-reaching consequences (and we mean that in a good way) for your sex life. Resolve that you’re going to try at least one new thing in sex at least once a month in 2015. That’ll give you 12 new things that you hadn’t tried before by the end of the year. Begin with a position you’ve always wondered about but felt too inhibited to try. Then you can consider doing it in a room you haven’t made love in ever like the kitchen? Toys, role play, a sex-cation (sexual vacation) once the ideas begin to flow, put them into practice one by one. Still can’t get over your reservations? Sexperts provide a couple of simple tips: Buy a book on sex and when you come across something that piques your interest, stick a little post-it note next to it. Let your partner look through the post-its to see what’s on your wish list and mark his/her own too. Another method is to use a blindfold this reduces some of the embarrassment you might feel and you feel more willing to slip out of the routine.
Play safe
Top of your list of New Year resolutions for your sexual life should be playing safe. If you’re already extremely cautious about precautions, that’s great; but if you’re the kind that leaves it to chance or your good luck please don’t. Getting swept up in the moment is wonderful. Unfortunately, it’s the moments after that can be not quite so wonderful. So whether it means sticking to one partner or practising sexual safety do whatever it takes to protect yourself from any bad after-effects.
Take charge
If you’ve always been the more passive, hesitant-to-initiate-sex partner in your relationship, there’s no time like the present to shake up the equation a little bit! The onus shouldn’t always be on your partner to initiate intimacy, and not having to do all the hard work might be a really nice change for her/him. Surprise your partner by taking control. Work up the courage for it by upping your “feeling sexy” quotient have a hot shower, play music that’ll get you in the mood, read or watch something titillating, and then, unleash your passionate side. Your partner will be pleased, as will you.
Be a little less selfish
How’s this for a resolution? Make a solemn promise that this year, you’ll focus on your partner’s pleasure at least as much as your own. Now that doesn’t mean that you should end your encounters feeling unfulfilled; simply that you’ll pay greater attention to how your partner responds to your touch, what he/she seems to like and seems to want, but is leaving unsaid. And look at this way, the more you please her/him, the more sex he/she will want and the more sex you will get. Now if that isn’t motivation enough, what is?
No body shame
Feeling bad about the way your body looks often holds you back from being as uninhibited in bed as you’d want. If you’re trying too hard to keep the covers from slipping over your tummy and thighs, you aren’t focussing on the right thing — which is maximising your partner’s pleasure and yours. Experts advise trying a position that camouflages your weak points: On your back if your paunch troubles you; on top if the size of your bosom does; sideways if you want to take attention away from love handles etc. Whether you try these positions or not, stop feeling bad about the way you look!
