Stephen Alter had once written in an essay titled, The Red Slayer: “Retelling a story is a form of healing too, as each rendition attempts to make sense of disturbing events.” This essay was published six months after Alter and his wife Ameeta were brutally attacked and stabbed by four masked men who barged into their house on a July morning in 2008.
Five years later, Alter’s book, Becoming a Mountain chronicles a series of treks he had undertaken to Bandarpunch, Nanda Devi (the second highest mountain in India) and Mount Kailash in Tibet. But it is also a personal journey of healing and recovery and for Alter, who was born and brought up in the Himalayas, in a way reclaiming his space in the mountains.
“I began to tell the story of the attack almost immediately after it happened, which was certainly a part of the recovery. But as I began to grow strong and was able to walk and trek to these mountain peaks, I realised that the stories of the treks was also a part of the same narrative, as the exertion of those journeys strengthened me in a way and helped me overcome the trauma. So the book dwells on not just the attack but also the recovery and the places where I went in search of that recovery,” says Stephen.
The author adds that in terms of a travelogue, the book is quite similar to his earlier non-fiction novel Sacred Water, which is a pilgrimage to the sources of the Ganges. This book views the sacred summits of Himalayas in a similar way, but since it is also a personal story, it happens to be the most difficult book Alter has ever written. He adds, “In my earlier books, I have remained somewhat detached as an observer. But here, I was very much connected to the story as it was about my personal beliefs and doubts — which one would perhaps hesitate to put on page otherwise. But for this book, it was necessary for me to be as honest and open as possible.”
And in spite of the fact that his attackers have still not been caught, Stephen Alter has tried to not let it hinder him from moving on. “I wanted them to be behind bars so that they didn’t do this to anyone else but in terms of my own healing and recovery, I didn’t feel any need to look them in the eye and sort of feel that they had received justice. After a while I realised it wasn’t going to happen so I tried to move beyond it because if I spend the rest of my life thinking about the incident then I am never going to recover from it.”
Alter, who once taught writing at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, now teaches only from time to time. He is currently working on the sequel to his 2013 espionage thriller, The Rataban Betrayal and also organises the Mussoorie Writers’ Mountain Festival every year. But he admits that the memory of the attack somehow keeps lurking in the background. “Although just my wife and I had suffered from the attacks, the entire family was affected by the episode. We have come to terms with it and don’t dwell on it a lot. But one feels the anger and anxiety from time to time. All of us carry it with us but it doesn’t wear us down unnecessarily,” he says.
The author hopes that on reading the book, people can see the mountain through his eyes but also in their own way comprehend the mountains and seek to become a part of them.
Albeit an atheist Alter adds, “Mountains stand the tallest on earth and when I look at them, I feel a sense of awe and beauty. But there are also emotions of fear and terror because mountains are so high and steep, impassable at times. Both these emotions create the feeling of sublime, which is at the core of any spiritual experience — of the search for sacred. As for me, I look at mountains as an inspiration, something that moves me, something I would like to be a part of.”
