Fatigue
Sometimes, what brings a relationship down isn’t a revelation of infidelity or an irreconcilable difference of attitude. It can be something as mundane as fatigue. When you’re too tired from work/other family commitments, the tendency is to take it easy in your relationship and not expend any effort in that sphere. Up to an extent, that’s fine your partner is bound to understand if this is a tough phase for you. But when it becomes the norm rather than the exception, you’re creating a situation where your partner will experience boredom and frustration. Your fatigue can negatively impact the quality of your togetherness not just physically (with patchy health) and sexually, but also emotionally, because you’re more inclined to be irritable and uncaring when you’re in that state of mind.
Dissatisfaction
It’s normal for most relationships to start out on an ecstatic note, only to settle down a few notches once the first endorphin rush passes. The chemistry of love is pretty well known. Of course, adjusting to a more even keel, as opposed to the extreme highs and lows of the early days of your romance, can be tough. But one partner may find it harder to adjust to that phase than the other. There may be a greater need that he/she feels for excitement, for novelty and once that is no longer the hallmark of your relationship, he/she may feel cheated of what they felt they had signed up for with you. The sentiment can cause dissatisfaction and boredom. Sometimes, even when a partner adjusts to this less exciting phase of the relationship, if there is a feeling that their significant other has simply “stopped trying”, that too can be frustrating and a cause for extreme dissatisfaction.
Incongruous needs
Couples may find that they want different things at different times and when your needs don’t overlap, it can leave a gap wide open for boredom to creep in. It could be about how much you want to focus on work or home, how much on yourself or friends/family, even how much you want to be alone or with a social group. When your needs are different, you’ll find yourselves moving in different directions. You might also prioritise your partner’s needs over years, which in turn will make you feel taken for granted and like you’re stagnating in terms of your own development.
Preferring the company of others
There are times when you’ll prefer the company of your buddies or your girl gang to hanging out with rather than your partner — that’s perfectly normal. To expect that one person in your life to be everything to you is a recipe for disappointment. But what if you’d rather not hang out with your partner at all — either because you find that he/she is no longer able to engage with you intellectually or emotionally? Why did you choose this one person then, to spend a significant portion of your life with? Perhaps your most scintillating conversations aren’t with your partner, but if you find yourself classifying your time together as mind-numbingly dull, you’re headed for trouble.
