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Lessons from a heartbreak

DC | NISHA JAMVWAL
Published Oct 8, 2014, 5:23 am IST
Updated Mar 30, 2019, 11:02 pm IST
Most people go through ups and downs in relationships, leading to loss and pain
When a relationship turns sour, there is something to be learnt from it and something better waiting right around the corner.
 When a relationship turns sour, there is something to be learnt from it and something better waiting right around the corner.

Mumbai: Inner light comes from challenging situations. Flawed humans become exceptional with strife, trial and coming through tough times.

In the movie Highway, Alia Bhatt loses Randeep Hooda’s companionship to death. It is then that she is catapulted into a journey within herself and grows through pain and parting. An evolution process begins that she had not chosen, but dreaded when she began to get close to him.

Going through a tough relationship, loss of a loved one, parting of near ones and harsh words are very painful, and one feels wrenched. When we go through hell and back, we don’t feel like listening to philosophy. We feel terrible and nothing anyone  might espouse, works. Life seems awful and you feel like socking anyone who delivers  lofty advice.

It is my opinion, after going through trials and troughs myself, that life is like a school. We come into the world to grow and evolve into better human beings. This development occurs when we pass through troubled moments. Most painful of these being not physical pain but issues that stem from painful relationships with lovers, parents, friends and siblings. Most people go through ups and downs in relationships, leading to loss and pain. The smarter ones learn and progress emotionally, spiritually and mentally from the strife.

When a relationship turns sour, there is something to be learnt from it and something better waiting right around the corner.

To cope with the situation of suddenly being thrown into flying solo from a situation of emotional and  physical dependency, navigating a path alone is definitely draining. You were dependent and habituated to your partner or friend looking out for you, and you being there for them. First stop waiting. Tell yourself it is over whether by death, parting of ways or misunderstandings. Take one issue at a time rather than trying to deal with impending problems and asking yourself ‘what if’. It is prudent to surrender to the sense of grief, get it out of the system and plan ahead.

Write down things that need to be done, focus on other activities and know that this is for the best.

You might not be too focused when your mind keeps going back to the loss and trauma. The important thing to remember is that none of this is new, and hundreds of thousands of people have been through exactly this since time immemorial. It is the pattern of life, death and parting which is a part and parcel of life and once you acknowledge this, it becomes easier to  move on, because there is no other way than forward.

To quote Khalil Gibran: “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”

The author is a luxury consultant and lifestyle columnist. You can mail her at nishajamvwal-@gmail.com

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