Happiness lasts longer when you battle your inner demons

When the world sees a happy, well-adjusted energetic person it might not be a reality. Perception is not reality, however real appearances might be. Robin Williams, one of the greatest comedians, recently committed suicide. Many years ago, the legend Dale Carnegie, who wrote self-help books on happiness, also took his life in depression. All these instances make us really wonder what is happiness all about and how does one define and quantify it, and more importantly, how do we find it in our lives? Is it success and material possessions? Can’t be! Else the celebrated, and wealthy to the point of excess, designer Alexander McQueen wouldn’t have committed suicide.

Could it be pain and tragedy that causes people to end their lives? But is not pain and unhappiness a part of every human being’s existence? Depression and drug overdose are obvious causes but in the first place, they occur due to inadequacies born out of unhappiness!

These famous names — what more could have life offered them? They were blessed with name, fame, wine, song, friends, admirers, money and all the conveniences that supposedly make life “happy”, “comfortable” and “content”. What was so lacking that all this and even life itself was not worth it? A mystery most tragic. And we will never know, as the saying goes, “dead men tell no tales”. Philosophers suggest that even having all the material comforts cannot provide long-term peace and everlasting happiness.

The real high and the real challenge is in the journey within us. That is purportedly where the meaning and value of existence lies. I’m not going to preach from spiritual guides. But on hearing Sadhguru Jaggi, what resonated clearly to my understanding about happiness and life is — “even earthworms can make a living. There is life beyond work and career and earning a living and eating, sleeping and procreating. There is the real meaning of living — going into one’s inner consciousness and delving into the self”.

That true connect with ourselves is vital — being comfortable with our own company, finding peace with our demons, failures, losses and finding reconciliation with it all. Harmony than just happiness is what allows us to live with ourselves and not reject and end our lives.

In a more general sense, to be kind, generous, giving, forgiving, averting gossip and negative conversations do push up the feel good factor.
Some moments of the day spent quietly with oneself are a great way to regenerate the soul. To develop a hobby, reading, introspection and sharing experiences are also essential ways to rejuvenate. Think positive and use happy memory banks to cash into when something bothers you.

Try to avoid comparing your life with others’. Each one of us has a unique life and must work out our own happy quotient through spiritual calmness and active positive pursuit of thought and action.

The author is a luxury consultant and lifestyle columnist.

You can mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com