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Humourous take: Why the war!

The only safe place on Earth is the burning core of Earth

Mumbai: Half the world is in utter turmoil. Wars are being fought for land, religion and almost hilariously for democracy.

Yes, because nothing screams equality like a loaded AK-47… in the face of those who disagree with you! But, that’s the strangest thing about war: its purpose is largely contradictory.

Everywhere countries fight each other for land. Land for their people. Sacrificing their people in a fight for the land. The point being?

How will your people enjoy the land if they aren’t living? It’s one of the rules of humanity — if you’re dead, you tend not to be able to enjoy things. You could substitute land for religion or democracy or politics and it could still be true.

This is about as illogical as committing suicide — which most Gods agree is a negative thing — to get close to God. Even God would see a suicide bomber and say, “Bro, I was utterly misquoted! Here’s your visa to Hell.”

I also can’t understand people who settle disagreements with war in the modern generation.

There’s a place to openly attack people you hate: it’s called YouTube Comments. Or Twitter. Or a debate with Arnab. That’s so much healthier. And, the only scars you carry are emotional ones.

Additionally, fighting for land is just daft because Dubai created The Palm Islands out of thin air.

So, why are people across the world fighting for land? Dude, stop fighting. Just get Dubai to make you new land!

The situation though is simple.

On the ground: people will shoot at you.

In the skies: planes are crashing.

In the water: pirates.

Seems the only safe place on Earth is the burning core of Earth.

This is why we need to colonise other planets – cause, this one is done!

That’s why our Mangalayan mission to Mars is not a quest for science. It’s a trial route for a future IndiGo flight. Because, here we’re done.

Sorabh is very much on earth for now and you find him on Twitter @hankypanty

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