You might be a Prince Charming, but the lady of your dreams doesn’t seem impressed. What could you possibly be doing wrong? Read on to find out.
The damsel ain’t distressed
Sure, most women would like a partner they can depend on. But then again, a woman isn’t looking for a know-it-all saviour who treats her like a delicate damsel who can’t take charge of her own life. It’s demeaning to her, especially if she’s the strong, independent sort who handled her life pretty well before you waltzed in and tried to do everything for her. You may think it’s unfair: After all, isn’t Prince Charming supposed to storm ivory towers for his princess and rescue her from lurking ogres, if any? Maybe so, but today’s princesses are more Lady Fiona from Shrek (capable of kicking ass) and less Cinderella. In the big wars she takes on, she’ll always be glad to know she has your support and protection. But for the smaller battles and skirmishes, she’d rather that you trusted (and encouraged) her to slay her own dragons.
Coercion does not make for romance
The Beast may have got his Beauty to come live in his castle under duress — all because her poor father picked a rose from the palace grounds. Other Prince Charming-type characters have benefitted from spells and magic potions to get their princesses. But in real life, using any kind of coercion to get a woman to be with you isn’t remotely romantic. In fact, it may even be illegal. Again, films and stories often romanticise the persistent and pesky suitor who is rewarded with the heroine’s returned affections for behaviour that can only be described as obsessive and stalker-like. In real life, this won’t endear you to any woman (unless she has a decided preference for that sort of thing). It’ll only get you a slap, her disdain and possibly a court injunction.
Expect her to be Snow White
No, most regular girls haven’t spent their lives in a stupor, waiting for “true love’s kiss” to revive them from their slumber. They’ve seen a fair bit of the world, had quite a few life experiences and probably very many kisses as well before meeting someone they want to have a more committed relationship with. Expecting her to be “pure and untouched” — and expressing the same to her — isn’t likely to win you any brownie points. Her past shouldn’t matter to you, except in the ways that it directly influences your present. If you’re a true prince, how many men she’s been with won’t influence how you think of her or her choices.
Fit her feet into glass slippers
Here’s the thing. Glass slippers that fit only her delicate feet may be a fine trope for a fairy tale. But in real life, glass shatters.
Metaphorically, she needs something much sturdier to “walk” through life. Think of how women were made to painfully bind their feet in China to make them fit into tiny decorative shoes — the rationale being that their crushed feet, which made them unable to leave the home, work in the fields, and walk only with small, mincing steps, were indicative of their higher status in society. Those metaphorical slippers of glass work in the same way. Trying to curtail a woman’s freedom in no way makes you a prince.
Marriage isn’t her ‘Happily Ever After’
Marriage may be one of her life goals, but it is not the be-all and end-all of a woman’s existence. Believing that she’s waiting with bated breath just for you to propose to her, and acting like you’re granting her the big ticket to a Happily Ever After ending would be delusional on your part. Here’s a reality check for you: She may be as apprehensive about making a permanent commitment as the stereotypically skittish bachelor. Even if she is ready to make that final commitment, do not assume that just because you’ve tied the knot, that’s an automatic guarantee for a romantically fulfilling partnership. In fact, this is the starting point for you to really work on being a “good” couple. So stop being complacent and get cracking.
