How do you react when your father asks the reason for you returning home late? Do you see concern or control? How do you feel when you lose sleep over some criticism at work? Now imagine perceiving all criticism as feedback... wouldn’t life be a lot simpler?
This is the kind of tuning that facilitator of Non-Violent Communication (NVC), Shammi Nanda, does during his workshops. Originally from Jaipur, Shammi has also travelled across the world interning and working with NVC leaders and taking the principles of NVC to several communities. In the city for four sessions focusing on different aspects of human interactions, Shammi lists the simple ways you can change your life through communication:
What is Courageous Communication
l Expressing yourself honestly while caring for other people. It is important to understand the deeper meaning in conversations. For example: When your father asks the reason for you returning home late, you need to see the care and concern behind the statement and not just the complaint.
l When you communicate, try to express through feelings and needs, instead taking the route of blame and demand, defence and attack. When you hear someone attacking or behaving in ways you don’t like, try to see the needs that the other person has at that moment.
Parent-child equation
l As adults, parents need to see their kids as human beings who have needs like them.
l Autonomy and choice are important needs for children and even if adults may not be able to find ways to meet their demands, it’s important for them to let the children understand that their caretakers value their sense of autonomy.
Communication in Intimate Relationships
l Most of us nurse a lot of wounds and pain from our past experiences. This manifests in our present relationships as well. To be aware of that and to deal with it consciously will help you not only have a smooth and fulfilling relationship, but also can heal us of the past hurt.
Communication at workplace
l Be mindful of your needs while selecting your job. l Lead teams and hold meetings efficiently while ensuring that people enjoy collaborating and have a sense that their contributions are valued.
l Make clear requests and agreements. Share feedback in a way that it does not sound as criticism. l All criticism needs to be seen as feedback; learn to give feedback in a positive spirit.
