Hyderabad: Some of you may remember this scene from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. Kabir (Abhay Deol) video chats with his fiance Natasha (Kalki) from Spain when Katrina pops up on the screen. Turning suspicious, Kalki wants to know who she is and what she is doing in his room. Abhay’s explanation that she is a diving instructor fails to impress Kalki who retorts “Do you think I’m stupid?” The girl then takes the next flight to Spain to ensure that her boyfriend doesn’t cross the line.
Girlfriends have always been apprehensive of their partner’s equation with other members of the opposite sex and it is also not uncommon for them to set limits. But is such intervention completely justified? And, how much is too much?
Says South Indian actress Priya Mani, “Sometimes it’s necessary to step in just to ensure that you are not taken advantage of. For that matter, boys also tell girls when they are not comfortable with someone she hangs out with. Sometimes girls might see it only as a friendship but the other guy might be expecting more, so it is a good thing to intervene. It’s not wrong to be possessive but at the same time it’s dangerous when you are over possessive. It’s about finding the right balance.”
It’s instinctive to be protective of one’s partner and some modern women make it very clear which of his female friends their man should keep a distance from.
“You can’t have your partner hanging out with a member of the opposite sex with similar interests all the time. For instance, if you don’t enjoy watching football but your boyfriend hangs out and discusses football with a girl who loves the game just as passionately as him, then that’s bound to set the alarm bells ringing. You either need to start watching football or tell him you are not comfortable with what’s happening,” says Subhadra, a young banker from Kerala.
Actor Ganesh Venkatraman argues that while possessiveness is a human emotion, one should have the freedom to hang out with friends irrespective of the gender. “But it is also important to constantly work on the relationship.” Agreeing with him is actress Vedhika who says, “When a partner tries to monitor every move of yours then it just shows how insecure they are. But it’s natural to feel a little possessive in a relationship.”
