Hyderabad: Lalith was worried that he might have impregnated his lady colleague. Is there a way to terminate this? He enquired with the doctor. You see, I was seduced and could not resist, he justified his behaviour.
Why do men have one-night stands? Believe it or not, this is a major male sexual fantasy. A popular health magazine’s survey indicates that the average male would prefer to have 18 sex partners in his lifetime!
In any long standing monogamous relationship, sexual passion dies a natural death due to sexual monotony.
In such situations the fresh flesh rekindles it. This sexual high, especially for the middle aged, becomes an end in itself. The exhilaration is compounded by the thrill of a novelty.
For both men and women, one-night stands may be ego-boosters. For men it is a reward for the career success and achievement. For the middle-aged women it is a reaffirmation of their attractiveness.
According to anthropologist Helen Fischer, people respond differently to novelty. Some avoid it. Some seek it out.
She calls the latter as “sensation seekers”. Psychiatric research has found low levels of monoamine oxidase, an enzyme in the brain, in the sensation seekers.
The reason quoted by the avoiders range from “I am married” to “It is morally wrong” to “I may contract a disease”.
Research has again found that one-night stands are more likely to occur when the man is under the influence of drug or alcohol and when he is in an unhappy relationship or between a divorce and the next marriage.
On the whole, one-night stands are most likely to be injurious to any marriage because one of the founding pillars of the marriage i.e. trust has been broken.
My dear men, the best way to avoid this problem is to avoid the encounter itself.
The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com
