What kind of a girl are you?
How women interact with each other has been analysed by experts and, in a more frivolous vein, by TV shows and films.
And there does seem to be a certain amount of agreement on the broad categories they fall under.
Read on to find out where you belong.
The leader of the pack
This one’s pretty self-evident. Most groups have a leader, the one who decides who gets to be in the group and who doesn’t. She’s also the one who ends up influencing a lot of the group’s decisions.
This may not always take the form of her explicitly spelling out what she wants the rest of you to do — though she isn’t averse at all to speaking her mind! Instead, she exerts a subtler pressure — she is the one the rest of the group aspires to be like, and seeks approval from. So automatically, the others tend to do those things or make those decisions of which they feel the leader will approve.
The leader does watch out for the group’s interests as well. She’ll ensure that there’s always a fun outing on the anvil, and that the best seats in the restaurant are reserved for her gang.
The trophy hunter
Haven’t we all encountered this type? She’s the girl who chose carefully the “friends” she wanted, for the things or benefits they represent, and then went out and got them.
The trophy hunter looks at friendship as a conquest of sorts — one that will elevate her social position considerably. To this end, she can be very charming and experts say, “seductive” — she has to after all. Offer her potential conquest something of interest to strike up a friendship.
She’ll trade secrets, gossip and something that is of value to you. Does this mean that her friendship is false? No, not really. It’s just her intentions that need a little bit of watching.
The martyr
She loves “sacrificing” what she really wants, in the “interest of the group”. Anytime you need a friend or companion, you’ll find her a willing one, even if it means dropping all her own plans, and even if it’s in the middle of the night.
So what’s the catch? She’s doing all this not for you, but because being needed is essential to her sense of self-worth and importance. She does expect a certain payback —albeit one of the emotional kind, where she is the first one all the friends will turn to when in need of assistance, the one everyone professes to be closest to.
One offshoot of the martyr is also the kind of friend experts call “the suffering companion”. You’ll find her oozing sympathy when you’re facing a troubled patch, but when it’s a joyous occasion, she may act distant and envious.
The frenemy
Now she’s the one you really need to watch out for. While the martyr and the trophy hunter may be motivated by self-interest, but are good friends at least, the frenemy uses a façade of friendliness, to pursue her own agenda against you.
She’ll present the sweetest of faces, and be the bestest of friends, but that’s only in your sight. Behind your back, she can be quite malicious. But why does the frenemy act the way she does?
It’d be easy to believe that it’s because she’s pure evil, but real life hardly works like that. Maybe she wants to take your position in the group, or feels you’ve taken hers.
Maybe you’ve caused her some real or imagined slight. Confronting her, however, may not accomplish any real change though, as this is a behaviour pattern that is inherent to her personality.
The authentic friend
This is the kind of gal pal we all want, and sometimes, are blessed enough to have. She may not be a saint herself, but in her interactions with you, she is honest and supportive.
She’s your cheerleader when you need one, a heckler who won’t let you give up, and also a support system. You’ll never doubt her intentions, even if her actions aren’t always as per your expectations.
She’s comfortable with the space that the both of you occupy in the group, and she certainly isn’t going to be infringing on any of your other equations. Between the two of you, you have the assurance that there is no room for one-upmanship or envy.
The best part about having an authentic girlfriend? Knowing that as you evolve through the journey of life, she (and your friendship) is evolving alongside too.