A brahmin once invited Lord Buddha for a meal. Buddha agreed. When he arrived at the brahmin’s house, he found that the brahmin had invited him for some other purpose — to criticise and abuse him.
Lord Buddha quietly listened to the brahmin’s verbal attacks. This went on for some time. Finally, Lord Buddha said, “Do visitors come to your home often, good brahmin?”. “Yes, they do,” replied the brahmin. Lord Buddha continued, asking, “What preparations do you make for your guests when they come?”
The brahmin replied, “We get ready for a big feast.” Lord Buddha asked, “What happens if they do not arrive” The brahmin said, “We eat the food from the feast by ourselves.” Lord Buddha said, “Well, you have invited me for a meal but you entertained me with criticism and harsh words. It appears the feast you have prepared for me is abusive words. I do not want to eat from what you have prepared. So please take it back and eat it yourself.” With that, the Buddha left the brahmin’s house.
Here, rather than turning around, engaging in criticism and abusing the brahmin in the same way, Lord Buddha refused to partake of the anger. Instead, he left the scene. Thus, the anger was left with the man who was giving it out. Lord Buddha advised his disciples who were watching this whole scene, by saying, “Never retaliate in kind to what is done to you. Hatred never ends through more hatred.”
Many times in life we encounter people who say bad and negative things to us, who verbally abuse us, who criticise us and who call us names.
Rather than engaging with them and stooping to their level, we should not accept these gifts from others. Their attempt to incite rage and anger within us will remain unsuccessful. Thus, their anger has nowhere to go; it will remain with them. When we withdraw from the scene, they find themselves alone with their anger. Soon, they realise what they have done. They see how calm we were in the face of their poison. Sometimes they wonder how we were able to remain calm in the face of anger and this is how they may come to respect us.
Whenever we encounter people who are filled with anger and criticism toward us, we should hear their words calmly. We should ask first whether their words have any truth. If so, we can take their words as a lesson to improve ourselves. If their words do not have any truth, then we should not accept their gift of anger. We should not be dragged down to their level. In this way, we can maintain our equanimity and peacefulness. We add calmness to their hostile environment. We should leave the gift of anger with them and go on our peaceful, merry ways. In this way, we have kept our attention on our spiritual goals.
Sant Rajinder Singhji, head of Sawan Kirpal Ruhani Mission, works towards promoting inner and outer peace. He can be contacted at www.sos.org
