Picture this: You come home after an annoying day of work and idiot chores, and instead of just ringing the bell and have someone open the door, you are told to go fetch the key from a well where lives a crocodile, a few fat-fat snakes and several creepy-crawlies. And, of course, you can’t just walk into the well. You have to get to it dangling on a rope.
Earlier, watching reality shows like Khatron Ke Khiladi, Fear Factor, even Iss Jungle Se Mujhe Bachchao, I would dismiss the participants as desperate, fame ke bhooke, paglet people, but there would be lingering doubt. Could I conquer my fear? And I have fear of lizards, snakes, water, height, closed spaces, clowns, the dark, chole-bhature, bhujia, the treadmill, a sink full of bartans…
But as I started watching Season 5 of Khatron Ke Khiladi: Darr Ka Blockbuster, I felt relief — relief about how sane I am, and anxiety about the mental well-being of the participants. On the surface all of them seem successful and sensible. There’s actor Ranvir Shorey, drama queen Gauhar Khan, burly actor Nikitin Dheer, sweet stunt woman Geeta Tandon, TV actors Debina Bonnerjee, Kushal Tandon, Rajniesh Duggal, Gurmeet Choudhary and Karanvir Bohra to name a few. Plus there’s the ringleader, director Rohit Shetty, who assigns them tasks involving crashing cars, all sizes and manner of slithering things from the wild, getting trapped in boxes of rising water, with dire threats — “Is team ka gunda main hoon,” .
I can understand why my neighbourhood aunty, whose only activity for years has been to tilt left, raise her right bun and let out the wind trapped under her ample behind, would be forced by all the residents and strays of our colony to enter this death-is-certain, sooner-rather-than-later contest. But why would these mini celebrities put themselves through this torture?
Because, you see, this is Angry Bird yug. It came after Bubble Breaker yug and FarmVille yug, and is teetering on the cusp of Flappy Bird yug. In these yugs what matters is moving from Level 1 to Level 999, going from success to money to fame, and then returning to Level 1 and starting again. In this yug all the Angry Birds need to keep finding a slingshot that will shoot them, sometimes in a well full of keeda-makoras, sometimes on a magical stardom island, and sometimes in a pile of potty. But wherever they fall, they return, looking for another slingshot. Just wait till we come to Flappy Bird yug. There the duffer birds won’t be fighting external evil or inner demons, but green sanitary pipes.
