Shooting Straight: On anger management

| RAM GOPAL VARMA
Published Apr 27, 2014, 7:12 am IST
Updated Apr 1, 2019, 11:45 am IST
Ace film director digs into all things good, bad and ugly, on screen and off
File Photo of Ram Gopal Varma
 File Photo of Ram Gopal Varma

The other day I saw a driver on the road beating up another driver. He was unable to control his rage about the way another car on the road was reversing. It was almost funny to watch the anger on his face. I have always believed that people who can't control their so-called road rage actually suffer from a low self-esteem.

We often hear many people saying that they can't control their anger. But I feel that people can't control their anger only when deep down they know that they can either afford to be so angry or that they can get away with it. For instance, there was a guy I knew who used to take his watch off and hurl it on the ground whenever he got angry. There's also a famous Bollywood director who has the habit of throwing cellphones on the ground whenever he gets angry. Both these guys take pride in telling how many watches and cell phones they have flung.

 

But I wonder if they would do the same if the watches or cell phones would cost in lakhs.

Similarly you might seemingly and uncontrollably lose your temper in a jiffy, if it's your employee or someone physically weaker than you on the receiving end. But I doubt  you would lose your temper so fast on let’s say a Dawood Ibrahim. The truth is that anger comes from an instinctive desire to dominate and it gets suppressed when you realise you can’t dominate in a certain situation.These are some of the most effective things I have heard about anger:

 

If you can count to twenty when you are angry, it means that you are not angry in the first place. Anger generally hurts you more than the person you are angry with. Holding on to your anger is like holding a hot coal with an intention of throwing it at someone. The longer you hold it, the more you will get burned.

Terrorism is just a whole other level of anger management issues. Rather than consuming your energy and time in remaining angry, it's wiser to spend the same on to introspect why you are angry in the first place with that person.

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