Sex, communication and money are key issues every couple face today
Mumbai: Even couples who are very much in love sometimes run into these common relationship problems. Panicking won’t help, instead try these options to get out of the “trouble” zone.
Sex
If your relationship is breaking down on several fronts, then even good sex will not keep you together. Bad sex, however, is definitely a deal-breaker, even when everything else is hunky dory. Even if you are sexually compatible, over time, the wearing off of the urgency of your desire for each other can be disappointing.
If you’re a longtime couple with children or demanding careers, scheduling “play dates” (of the grown-up sort) definitely helps, say sexperts. While pencilling in a specific time slot for sex in your weekly calendar might seem unspontaneous, couples report feeling a greater sense of anticipation and excitement as their date draws near, and shaking up the schedule ensures it doesn’t become routine. Make surprising your partner in bed — or against the kitchen counter — one of your sexual goals and exchange lists on sexy scenarios you’d each like to try out.
Communication
A lack of or improper communication is often at the root of many troubles. It can start from simply not listening to what your partner has to say or not talking to him/her, to not responding appropriately, or even more problematic, misreading what it is that he/she is really trying to express.
Experts recommend that you set aside a time that’s reserved just for talking to each other— a time when you aren’t going to be checking your phone or thinking of work or kids or anything that isn’t directly related to what your partner is trying to tell you. Listen attentively, paraphrase what you’ve heard and have your partner tell you if you’ve actually got it right — you’ll be surprised how often you’ve picked up an entirely different message. Make a pact that you won’t use certain phrases during this time (“You’re always…, you never…) and that you won’t raise your voice, and that what you say during this time will not be used against you later —well, within limits.
Money
Your attitudes towards money, and how much of it you have, can make or break your relationship. The spending and the making of money, as well as who exerts how much control over it, are the reasons couples often cite when seeking to split. To avoid confrontations over cash, always maintain transparency with your partner regarding your financial dealings. Let him/her know right at the outset what your income and investments are, as well as any major expenditures.
Decide on a mutually acceptable percentage of your incomes that you want to pool into a joint account that you both have control over, and how much you want to keep aside in an individual capacity. Allocating responsibility for expenditures — what will be paid out of the joint account, what from your individual earnings — and prioritising your financial goals (what the both of you are saving for) is half the battle won, as is creating an exigency fund and budgeting.
( Source : deccan chronicle )
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