The film Queen is one of the more endearing films I’ve seen of late, and Kangana Ranaut as the gullible hick from Delhi, unexposed and big eyed about all things ‘cool’ and ‘sexy’, is beguiling. Dumped at the altar by her fiancé, Kangana as the film’s Rani is on her honeymoon alone to find herself. The film brings to the fore questions about new age single women, the importance of exploring oneself and the stifling nature of some intrusive Indian relationships. Ranaut’s self-discovery and her freedom proves that it is no longer a desperate need to get hitched for a woman to find happiness and fulfill her need for physical connect and sex.
Sex and single woman has been a preoccupying thought with new age India. There once seemed to be a cloud of horrific implications over a girl losing her virginity before marriage. Somehow, India still seems to be steeped in the loss of virginity phobia.
There are self-appointed bodies of law keepers on the subject, like the khaps. There is a numerosity of perspectives on the subject of the bridal night and virginity with differences in perspectives. There’s this story you may have heard — the young man hung up on marriage to an ‘innocent’, ‘untouched’ package of ‘purity’ that will come to him on the bridal night, gift-wrapped in her virginity. So he locates a gem in a farm, away from polluted cities and is married. Her morning after wonderment is: “But this is what we do in the haystacks!”
There is a law in place that permits sex between consenting adults. Just a few years ago Chennai actor Khushboo made a statement that girls must take precaution and be aware to prevent unwanted consequences. There was brouhaha at the suggestion and she was ostracised for what she said. Courts were appealed to and there was public outrage and threat.
It’s now a vastly broadminded world out there. Does it not seem like large sections in India are enmeshed in a time warp? Maybe, and yes you may be an adult, but entering into sex as casually as a handshake as some say, still comes with consequences. Psychologists hold that women bring to sex a larger quotient of emotion, which lingers after the act, so they may have sentimental expectations. She may lay herself open to hurt, a feeling of being used, ensuing bitterness if she feels let down in expectations, even as the man exasperatedly wonders, “What’s all the fuss about?” Immature sex can have repercussions.
For the single girl in a physically intimate relationship, the most important point to remember is that the relationship must be conducted with maturity and understanding, and respectful of each other. In India, often a woman is considered licentious if she has a physical relationship before marriage. She has to be clear about her moral attitude and then go ahead with her personal conviction.
In the film No Strings Attached, the rules are laid down clearly, and both enjoy great chemistry until they get emotionally involved. There is always a chance for that to happen. Insecurities, jealousies, possessiveness, selfishness, blame, complaints, feelings of being used are always a part of the agenda. It is best if both are mature partners and much better if it’s not an impulse thing.
A relationship culminating into sex can be a paradise. But it needs a significant degree of strength of character, an understanding of oneself and what one is seeking. No judgmental preaching here. I am not even using the words love, society, right or wrong. The partners have to work out their funda for themselves.
