“Everybody would talk about us and even our friends were jealous about the fact that we were so made for each other and how we hardly had any big fights. Yes, we were happy.”
“However, he had been depressed in the last three, four months as we were going through a financial crisis. It had been a tough year for us,” says Uday Kiran’s wife Vishitha.
Expressing her shock at the tragedy, she adds that she didn’t have a clue that her husband was contemplating suicide. “He kept everything bottled up,” she says.
“He was a big star and it’s not easy to face what he went through. All of us supported him, but he was a very private person.”
The status obsession
Uday was always worried about “losing status” and feared ridicule. Sources reveal that he was even wary of taking autorickshaws and constantly reminded family that it was “not okay” for him to be seen taking public transport.
“There were a few offers, but Uday felt they were not up to his level. After his last flop, 'Jai Sriram', he had become very careful. He wanted to maintain his image and that’s why he rejected those films. He used to say that for him to sign a film, three things — producer, director and script — should be strong,” Vishitha adds.
‘Piece of tissue paper’
Vishitha says that another factor that led to Uday’s depression was the lack of support from the industry.
“He wouldn’t get invitations for any award ceremonies. He would say, ‘If you are on top, you are God. If you fall, you are nothing but a piece of tissue paper’. “He once told me, ‘I have been struggling for the past 10 years… and when I go outside, people laugh at me’.”
But Vishitha married the struggling Uday Kiran knowing full well what she was getting into.
“Yes, I knew about his problems. But he promised me that he had changed. He told my father: ‘That’s all past, I am now a strong man and I will take care of your daughter’. And he did change a lot. In the last few years he was not undergoing any treatment or taking medication.” Moneywise, the couple was struggling, but not in dire straits.
“We could have handled it. Uday had all our support and nobody was pressurising him from outside. He was just putting pressure on himself. He was also trying his luck in Chennai and one offer had almost worked out. But he was tense because the confirmation hadn’t come. It’s absolutely not true that he had three to four flats and two or three plots. There’s a small piece of land which he had been trying to sell.”
The start of the fall
Uday’s sister, Sridevi, says the toughest time for Uday was when 10 of his films got cancelled after his much-publicised engagement with Chiranjeevi’s daughter Sushmita was abruptly called off.
“At the time, he had 10 films in hand — all top banners. But when the engagement broke, the producers came home and simply asked Uday to return the signing advances. From then on, started Uday’s downward spiral. After that fiasco, no big banner ever approached Uday to sign him up for the movies. But the actor still had a good circle of friends from the industry who were always trying to help the couple out.
Vishitha adds that actors like Nani, Allari Naresh and a few others were Uday’s closest friends, who were around when he needed them.
“Emotionally they have helped me too. They have always been there for us. Nani’s wife Anjana is a very close friend,” she adds.
The final day
Vishitha recalls the morning of the incident when they had a small altercation. “I had fever that morning and a small altercation took place, like between any normal wife and husband, there was no serious quarrel. He even sent me a message later saying ‘I love you’ and I replied, ‘I love you too’. “If he had thought about me for one minute he wouldn’t have done this.”
Future tense
Vishitha says that she doesn’t know what she will do now. “Last year, I completed my graduation in journalism from Hyderabad’s Villa Marie college. I topped the college and got three gold medals, as I wanted to prove that one could have a career after marriage.
“Uday was very happy for me and used to say ‘you can do great things’. But now I do not know what to do. I had never thought about it, never expected this to happen… I am clueless right now.”
Uday’s sister Sridevi, who lives in Muscat, says that Uday had been a fighter and had been fighting for the past 10 years.
“It was the stardom that killed him. When he was just seven, he told us that he wanted to become a hero. He did fulfil his dreams, but for the past 10 years it had become a nightmare.”
“We spoke that morning and he seemed fine,” she says. “Whenever he called, he would say that he was just having a bad time. He would be excited about the future — but I think, somewhere along the way, he lost all hope.”
