I am a married woman with a child . I have been with my husband for five years and now, we seem to be taking each other for granted. He has had affairs in the past and I have had no other option but to just caution him and demand that he gets his act together. But now, he is again back to his antics, what can I do? Please advice as I fought my parents to get married to him and now I have no one to turn to for help. -A lost soul
Your helplessness to stand up for yourself seems to be making your husband control the marriage. When he is aware that you prefer to stay in an unfulfilling marriage than seek help from your parents he could inflict you with emotional wounds such as affairs and neglect.
You have a choice whether to be in a deceitful marriage or become independent. Ask yourself how much are you willing to give up to be in this marriage. If you want to stay in a exploited condition for reasons best known to you, try to take care of yourself and your child. Since you restrict your life under such circumstances you tend to become disappointed. You may need couple-therapy to improve your relationship.
I am hanging around with this guy, who I like as a friend but I am aware that he has feelings for me. I do not want to get into any serious relationship because I am quite scared of commitment. However, I do not want to feel left alone so if I say not interested to his face — I fear that he might walk away and I will feel lonely. What should I do?- Anita P
While you know how the guy feels you do not want to reciprocate because of commitment phobia. Closeness is needed but it seems like a prison. You want love but it is a troubling experience.
Check your fears for committing to a serious relationship. When a woman perceives being entrapped in relationships it could indicate fears of attachment. Identify if there have been issues of abandonment and sensitivity to rejection that on one hand make you want closeness but on the other make you guarded that they do not intrude too much into your space. Recognise your vulnerability and work towards improving yourself.
