Life is a blessing, make the most of it!

ANUPAM KHER
Published Dec 8, 2013, 6:24 pm IST
Updated Mar 18, 2019, 10:42 pm IST
Our happiness lies in our hands. When we are caught in unhappy situations, we have to take stock of our lives.

My sister got married in 1994. She is a housewife and is  dependent on her husband financially. Some of our relatives and my brother-in-law’s neighbours have seen him   with one particular guy, in a very intimate positions. But no one has questioned him because my sister has instructed us not to mention it, as Anant, her husband, is very short-tempered.   The situation worsened after the ‘friend’ started coming home, at odd hours. Recently she was in kitchen when her six-year-old-son wanted her to go to the bedroom to see something. When she reached the bedroom, she was horrified to see Anant and his friend in a compromising position. My sister moved her son away from the room, and after his friend left, she confronted Anant. He, in turn, became defensive and angry and shouted at her. Though he was present through this, Anant’s father did not utter a word. Later while talking to her, Anant’s father confessed that they were aware of his homosexual leanings. My sister is disgusted and wants to end her marriage. She is now convinced that his family had known all along about his homosexual leanings and have deceived her and our family from the start.  I am younger to her and want to help my sister. Many a time I feel like confronting Anant. Kindly advise. :Abhijeet Joshi.  

Well this is a very tough situation to be in and I’m proud that you want to help your sister unlike many who don’t raise a word and let women suffer for a false sense of pride.While someone’s sexual preference is their choice entirely, I feel what he did to your sister is not right. It’s a betrayal on many levels because they also have a child. While her in-laws let her marry their son despite knowing the truth, he is now careless even with your nephew. Now your sister needs to find her happiness, stability for herself and her son. As the father, your brother-in-law must share responsibility financially and otherwise and now let your sister have the freedom to chose her happiness. She has been cheated for a long time now. She must be given a chance as per her choice.

 

I am 19 years old and will graduate next year. My scores have been very low for two years.I think the reason is my habit of procrastinating, skipping classes and wasting valuable resources. I have zero will power as of now. I hate this feeling and how much ever I try to get out of it, I fall back into this loop of destitution. My father has great hopes from me. How do I get my life back on track?
A probable lost cause.

My dear, many of us see a phase like this in our lives. While most people feel the way you do,  I suggest you see it as a blessing. Feeling this is way is a sign for us to look at our life, to find that one thing we are passionate about truly and find a balance with everything else. Start small. Start working, setting goals for things for just an hour a day or half an hour a day. Try thinking positive things for about 10 minutes a day. See what you like about yourself. Be calm. Be positive. Go slow. Don’t pressure yourself. Be happy. When you feel low that’s fine. We all do. Don’t indulge.

 

I’m a Maharashtrian and I will be marrying a Punjabi girl soon.  I have had my schooling done from Marathi where as my partner had studied from English Medium. I’m proud and happy about the wide range of Marathi literature that I’ve been reading,listening,watching till now. I feel there is quite a rich legacy of Marathi Literature and the coming generations should be aware of it.  Given the general fact that children are more connected and inclined towards their mothers, I feel skeptical if my children will ever get exposed to the same what I have in terms of Marathi Language. I will not be able to force things on children. Please advise how shall I tackle this in future?

 

Your worry about marriage and bringing up children is minute. I’m sure if your equation as a husband and father are stable and you tell your wife and kids that you want your kids to learn about your culture they would love it. Make sure the important things count and I’m sure they will want to learn everything about you.

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