I am in love with a man who is 16 years older than me. He has never married and I’m only 21-years-old. He is more mature and feels that such a relationship will not be successful. I really love this man, we both are great friends... share our thoughts, problems and interests. But the age factor is holding us back. Is it fine to have a relationship with a 16 year age gap? I would love to spend the rest of my life with him.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter”. When there is emotional maturity there may not be issues around age gap though there could be some challenges. Having an age difference means being in different life stages and there would be a mismatch of life experiences. Also one has to consider issues around love, fertility, aging and family.
Are you confident that your relationship will cope with ravages of time and you are cool about the idea of becoming a care-giver than a lover? Weigh your reasons for wanting to be in this relationship. Evaluate your preparedness for handling these issues. You are much more likely to have a satisfying marriage for a lifetime when you and your mate are on the same page, when you share the same core values in your lives.
I started dating this girl about a month back. We have very little in common. She is not outgoing whereas I am and we do not like the same kind of movies either. But we really like each other, or, at least so it appears. Whenever she’s with me she doesn’t talk much. She says it is because she’s shy and that I make her nervous. But the weird part is that she talks a lot to a common friend of ours. Whenever we hang out together they keep chatting about random things. Recently he took her number and I didn’t like it but I didn’t say anything. Should I be worried?
Even while you have tastes that are little in common what counts is if you have similar values. When dating or in a committed relationship, a couple needs to feel that they have a common goal, though they may differ in the ways of achieving it. Also, often couples who complain of having very little in common could be having some other problems. May be you are not communicating or feeling intimidated in your relationship. Check what is making her nervous when she is with you. When you respect your girl for who she is; happy for her achievements and supportive during difficult times it is of little concern whether you have different tastes and interests. Happiness in relationship happens because of a desire to want the relationship to work and a willingness to make changes.
