After announcing the arrival of their baby, in the same breath, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban told the world how grateful they are to their gestational carrier — the surrogate mother. Thanks to these carriers having babies might soon become the most painless and convenient norm in the future. Women no longer have to worry about “the clock ticking” and scary things like depression, morning sickness, getting fat or acquiring stretch marks.
Celebs like Sarah Jessica Parker, Frasier star Kelsey Grammar and Elton John have been public about the use of gestational carriers. Yes, they had no option since the ladies had medical issues and Elton is gay, but in the future, girls who don’t want to interrupt their careers or go through the gamut of pregnancy may opt for this choice.
Many will disagree with the concept of commercialising a womb or making pregnancy a career option, but if you think hard when the choice of having a Cesarean section was introduced many criticised it as they felt a painful, normal delivery was a must in every woman’s life. Ditto the epidural, when this painkiller became an option many frowned. But today they are options many girls opt for when having a baby! In fact what society disapproves of is Scientology’s belief of “silent births” where women are told not to even let out a small sigh when having babies the old fashioned way.
Choosing a gestational carrier just requires a change in mindset according to sociologist Nandini Sardesai who says, “Many girls might not want to jeopardize their careers by getting pregnant, slowing down for nine months at work and taking maternity leave.” Sardesai though warns women that India is a child centric society and that they have to be prepared to initially receive criticism for their choice. But if you are a financially independent couple how do you care.
And mums don’t have to ever feel guilty about not feeling maternal enough if they choose to have a gestational carrier because Sardesai says, “The bonding between mother and child will not be hampered at all. Everyone falls in love with their kids and people adore their adopted kid who is biologically not there’s too.” Fathers don’t give birth to their babies, but they love them nonetheless. The whole notion of women dying to become broody hens who can’t wait to watch their tummies swell is overrated. A non-messy option involving zero surgery is something all girls crave for.
Also the best thing about gestational carriers is that they have no role to play in your baby’s DNA or genes.
They just carry your baby for you. Also you don’t have to worry about a carrier ever getting emotionally involved or refusing to give up the child as Dr Roya Rozati, Head of the Department of Gynecology, Deccan College of Medical Sciences says, “Nobody proceeds without a legally abiding contract and the carriers are doing this for purely monetary reasons. They get paid anything between Rs 4-6 lakhs now.”
Lastly, don’t worry about kids getting traumatised when they find out that their mother didn’t give birth to them in the traditional sense as Sradesai says, “You wait till your child is a bit old and then you break it to him/her in a proper manner.”
What’s Your Take?
Old fashioned view: “Gestational carriers are akin to commercialising a womb; it’s a criminal act; taking advantage of a poor woman who will agree to carry the baby for an attractive sum of money; surrogacy may soon be seen as a means to make quick money...”
Modern view: “It’s a wonderful option for women who want to have babies but cannot devote nine months of their time to pregnancy due to their important careers; a hassle free procedure; the surrogate mother too benefits with a healthy monetary amount...”
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