My life during my childhood and my life now are like chalk and cheese. Now, I’m an international figure, and I’ve won many accolades and certainly a lot of fame. But life hadn’t always been like this.
I was born into a life of struggle. My parents were farmers, and were not well off, not enough for a lavish lifestyle at least. In fact, for as long as I can remember, before I started my career in football my parents had to struggle to make ends meet. But through all this, there was one thing that my family always insisted on — studies.
My parents would always tell me to concentrate on my education so I would be able to get a job that would offer me some stability. They certainly did not like my love for football. As a child, I was never interested in studies. But my first passion, and indeed my only one all my life, was football. I loved watching the local kids play, and would always be the first to jump into a match. My parents hated this, and kept trying to convince me to give it up and focus on studies. We used to fight over this all the time.
What kept me going was the love for the game, and the support I got from my elder brother and sister. Even when I announced that I wanted to be a professional footballer, they were the ones who supported me against my parents, who were dead against it. I was 16 years old when I played my first serious professional match for the local team. And from then on, there was no looking back.
The journey wasn’t a smooth one though. I’ve seen my share of successes and failures. And just like every other profession in the world, football too has its share of complications. More so, as I grew to become a public figure. And all the actions and deeds of a public figure are always up for scrutiny and dissection. One wrong move, and people are instantly ready with pen and paper to write your obituary. And I’ve made my share of “wrong moves”, if my critics are to be believed.
For instance, I faced a lot of flak when I was on the reality show Jhalak Dikhlaja. Some of the sports officials had an issue with an international sports star like me dancing on national television. But it was just a one-off thing, a one-time fling with the non-footballing world. I’ve dedicated all my life to football, and merely thought that being on a reality show might be a fun experience. I hadn’t really given it much thought. However, as it turned out, by the end of the show, there was so much pressure on me that I decided that I would never dance like that again. On May 18, 2009, I announced my quitting the show. By then, people had actually started questioning my commitment towards football. I was even suspended for six months by Mohun Bagan.
In August 2011, I announced that I would retire from international football. It was a painful decision, because football is the only thing I have known and been passionate about all my life. But I know that even though I might have retired from the game, I’ll continue playing football till I die. I may have retired from the game, but not from my passion.
What keeps me going is the love that many still have for my game. I’m honoured that the Sikkim government has named the stadium in Namchi after me. I plan to take the stadium from what it is now to the next level.
I’m also trying to arrange for funds to help Sikkim, which has gone through a very turbulent time — it was badly affected by the earthquake, roads were closed and all transportation was shut down.
When my wife was in labour, I was not with her, and had to walk for miles and miles to get to her. Now that I’ve retired from the international arena, I’m planning to spend more time with my wife and children. And I hope that I will be able to help Sikkim recover. Then came the moment which compensated for everything — I was given a Padma Shri. I feel honoured and humbled that I am among the ranks of Sachin Tendulkar and Milkha Singh. And best of all, today, my parents are proud of me. I would love it if my children too share my love for football, but I shall never impose my dreams on them.
I’m honoured that so many people now look up to me. If I can inspire the youth to do something constructive in their life, that will be my biggest achievement. There is a lot that I intend to do for football lovers, and I think this is just the beginning.
- As told to Reena Kapoor
