“You gotta be kidding me! What if my parents read this write-up? Are you mad?” This is how one girl reacts.
Most others we get in touch with responded in an equally brusque manner. The mere mention of the word ‘dating’ seems to freak most youngsters out.
Of course, there are exceptions. “I love the feeling of running into a space with closed eyes, dating is like that for me,” says Kani Kusruti, a theatre artist, who is one of the few who were ready to open up on the subject.
“Complete trust! I agree that it is risky at times but that is the exciting part of it. Plus we get to know the other person without the burden of commitment,” she says.
More often than not, the social atmosphere is such that partners get to know each other only after committing to each other and as a result that things turn unpleasant as months pass; arguments, sleepless nights, slamming of doors, banging of fists and pulling each other’s hair follow. Love becomes but a contemporary adaptation of arranged marriages.
Some like Shiyaz Rahima, a copy writer, go on dates without actually referring it to as a ‘date’. “I have gone out on walks with girls and taken a few out for a coffee once in a while, to know them better,” he says.
The few who do it say that dating allows them to walk out of a relationship without much melodrama. If you don’t hit it off, they point out, then you can part as friends or return as strangers to your own zones without shattering egos.
Malini Murali is one who strongly advocates dating.
“Dating is very HBO for me, but I believe that romance is primary to any sort of creative engagement which calls for meeting many people with different temperaments, likes and eccentricities. The more you romance, the more you feel alive,” says Malini who works with Kerala State Women’s Development Corp Ltd.
The question seems to be, with the youth more focused on their career and other passions in life, would they have patience for prolonged and draining relationships? Earlier, love lay in things unsaid and in an exchange of shy glances.
Today it is more rapid and develops through Facebook pings and pokes, which provide people with a cloak of anonymity. May be, technology will one day help the youth locate blind date candidates in ascending order of their compatibility scores!
