In the olden days, love was easier. You saw the girl/guy from afar. You tried to speak to them. They snubbed.

You followed, striking polite conversation and eventually, it happened. Finally, you met the parents, got married and lived under their roof, romancing whenever you had a little privacy. Where was the time for expectations?

Today, whatever one glances at screams aloud, ‘Expectations — is he/she fulfilling yours?’ If not, does that disqualify your partner from being loving?

Couples who are married and are together for decades give realistic advice, like ‘plunge into a relation without expectations’ and ‘being deaf, dumb and mute is the best way to survive together forever.’
What is true love really? Is it a fairy tale romance between a prince and a princess that lasts happily ever after? Maybe, but for most men and women today, it is not.

As a girl, I wanted to be with ‘Mr Right’ and I spent countless years searching relentlessly for ‘The One.’ But the truth is, the more you yearn, the more desperate you get, the cheaper the deals you make. Finally, you end up feeling miserable, bitter, misused, cheated… Are your expectations worth all this misery?

The only way I found love was by loving myself first and letting a great guy find me. I visualised doing things with him together - traveling, watching movies, having pets, cooking etc., although I never saw his face in the visualisations. Viola! A month later, John Kokken miraculously appeared. Love frees but expectations bind.

So, try consciously, to love every day, overlook all the faults and keep your expectations low, instead of burdening your loved one as ‘The One.’

The choice is yours — one Valentine’s Day a year or a year full of Valentine’s Days?

The writer is a popular actor