Thousands of young Bengalureans are prowling the web in search of a friend, a date or simply a ‘casual encounter’. Free sites like loveawake.com, searchpartner.com, date.com etc tell a story of youngsters lonely in the big city.
Many are techies or professionals who have recently moved into town. They are ready to share their pictures, email ids and phone numbers on the Internet in the hope of finding someone. But are these youngsters searching in vain?
The chances of success are slim as the ratio of men to women is staggering. The sites are also hunting grounds for agents, escorts and sexual deviants, and it is hard to tell an innocent invitation from a trap.
“I had come across some ads saying ‘find local girls in your area’” says IT professional Anand (name changed). The link led him to a free dating site, he reveals.
“I did find some good female profiles and decided to contact one of them. After chatting for a while, she gave me her mobile number and I thought we were getting somewhere. Later that night, I called the number but it turned out to be some guy who told me that ‘his girls’ cost Rs 3,000 to Rs 5,000. After that experience, I haven’t gone back to the site,” he tells us.
These sites are certainly not for the faint hearted, as MNC employee Sanjana (name changed) found out.
“I came across a dating site and so I signed up for free. I put up a profile picture and wrote a line about myself. Within a day, I got a dozen emails from guys with usernames like ‘bigbull’ and ‘hunglow’,” she says. “None of them were thinking about dating. I stick to social networking sites now.”
STAY SAFE
You see a picture of a pretty girl on a free dating site and contact her. A meeting is fixed and you reach the place, only to find a bunch of goons waiting to loot you. True story. In fact, says web security consultant Akash Mahajan, “This is a common trap on free online dating sites.”
“Of course, giving out your personal information online is like giving it to someone you meet while waiting for the bus,” adds Akash. Once online, the information can be picked up by automated spam programmes or misused by other Netizens.
“Some ‘free’ dating sites turn out to be not so free after all. They may require you to pay up once you receive a certain number of responses to your ad,” he warns. “Also, before signing up on any site, it is a good idea to do a little research online and find out if it is a respectable website.”
PSYCH SPEAK
“People always turn to the Internet when they don’t have fulfilling real relationships,” says Dr Kartik Kashyap, consultant psychiatrist at Pragnya Brain Mind Clinic.
“For years, psychiatric practice has proven that migration, even to a different city, has its own set of stresses. Being alone in a new city, it is often much easier to access the Internet than to approach real people.”
According to the expert, many youngsters take the cloak of anonymity offered by the web and prefer to communicate online rather than face the social anxiety of approaching a real person. “They need help building communication skills in the real world,” Dr Kashyap opines.
“What I recommend is that instead of resorting to these so-called dating sites, they should use the Internet itself to find people who share their interests. If you like travelling, visit a travel site, make friends on the discussion forum and then meet up in real life,” he adds.
SITES & SOUNDS
This free online dating site has a network of dating communities around the world, with 20,281 registered members from Bengaluru (19,965 men and 316 women).
Man, 27, seeking woman
“Life is short, Lets make it beautiful :)”
Another free dating site, it says, “Our members are interested in platonic and not-so-plantonic friendships, casual dating, serious relationships and maybe even true love.”
Male, 25, seeking female
“Do you wanna get ROCKED? ;)”
Their tagline is simple: “Looking for the love of your life or the lover of the night? Post free ad.”
Hot guy, 34, looking for married women
“Ladies/distressed lonely housewives/ladies whose husbands are abroad/are you lonely and no enjoyment — don’t worry — i am ready to remove your worries you can contact (email id).”
Stop wasting money at other dating sites, urges this free site. Bengaluru is full of single men and women like you looking for dates, lovers, friendship and fun.
Man, 27, seeking woman
“A cool and fun loving fun guy seeking someone for friendship and probably more bcos lifes alwyz gr8 to live when its unplanned.”
Also a free online dating service, Mate4all invites men and women looking for dating, romance, adult dating and more in Bengaluru.
Male, 28, seeking female
“I’m a boy with a lot of energy...”
