The winged Cupid might smile and wink at all lovers. But it’s only some couples, very much in love, who have the wind beneath their wings to live in two different countries. Beyond race are these international couples who decided to have the best of both worlds, and live (in various permutations and combinations) in two different cultures and experiences instead of what is the norm — having to choose one. They cross the bridge of the mundane and expected, and have decided to build a life in two countries.
Asheen Lobo, a restaurateur and his Swedish wife Annika, have done this for over 10 years now. He is in Stockholm now, for a few months, eking some living, but learning to adapt to another culture. Annika is back to her work. And this equation changes when they are both back in Goa, running his restaurant L’Orange, Wok n Roll even as Annika keeps the accounts. There’s travel consultant and business woman Angeline Lobo and her Swiss husband Jeff Allon, who have a home in Goa and in Switzerland, and they go from beach to snow-covered peaks for a few months every year.
Amit Bakhale and his wife Gosia, an Indian and Polish, found love when they were both in London. They too decided to move back to Amit’s home in Goa, with Gosia shuttling between Poland and Goa. All of them have taken the best of both worlds, and the worst too, ‘coz it can’t be easy making a twin life in two countries, however, exotic it might sound.
“It started when I met Annika in Goa in October 2007, she was on a holiday with a friend Madeleine from Stockholm. Things clicked and we got married in September 2008 after spending a couple of months together and many expensive calls and messages later,” says Asheen, who now stays in Goa for six months and travels to Stockholm every May till September every year. And Annika does the same. “We have been together for approximately 10 years and living between countries, India and Sweden,” he adds. It is challenging to have two different sets of homes and lives, and living expenses.
“In the beginning because of jobs, business, places to live and visa issues, it was vexing, but over time, we have overcome all of it and adapted quite wonderfully to the situation.” Annika works for an accounting agency which is very versatile, so she can work online or from office between countries, and Asheen also gets his time to see the world as they both love travelling. He also has a very understanding partner. Which is key to making such an unconventional but all enthusing partnership work.
Asheen Lobo, a restaurateur, and his Swedish wife Annika, stay in Goa for six months and travel to Stockholm every May till September every year
What’s the best part? “Now, we have families and friends in both countries and travel around the world on any given chance as we both like to travel, taste cuisines, all this make us happy,” says Asheen, who usually takes weekends in Stockholm to rustle up some dirt on his camping shoes across Europe. Most of these lovebirds have their own restaurants that open seasonally, and this helps them get breathers every now and then.
Travel consultant and businesswoman Angeline Lobo always loved to travel. And when destiny brought Brit with a Swiss residency Jeff Allon onto her path, Cupid struck, and they got married, deciding to live in Switzerland for a few months, and Goa for the season. It gave them the sunny weather and a chance to live in the picturesque surrounds of their village Wangii, amidst the cowbells and lush vista.
As with all these couples, the visas and paperwork did take its time but eventually, they have what most people would love to have — dual countries they can call their own. “For a citizenship, she needs a B permit for four years, then she can have a C permit and that gives her permanent residency. Five years later, she can apply for a Swiss passport but to do that she must live in the same local council for three years,” says Jeff, who is happy with the way things have panned out, though they do plan to make Switzerland more their home soon for practical reasons.
Travel consultant and businesswoman Angeline Lobo and her Swiss husband Jeff Allon have a home in Goa and in Switzerland
Adapting to cultures and ways of life in two different countries has many layers to it, not all positive, “Indians are more friendly and spontaneous. The Swiss need an appointment for everything,” reveals Jeff and for him being in India has only one downside, “Language is a huge barrier. I love the sun and the people, besides, there is always so much one can do here,” he says. Like them, there are many British couples too, who live in Goa for six months and go back to the dull and dreary England for the summer. There is also Martin Decock, who lives for a few months in Scotland and a few months in Singapore with his wife.
Amit Bhakhale and Gosia have been lucky enough to get glimpses of both countries, though in this case, it’s more Gosia who shunts between her small village 120 km from Warsaw to Goa, than Amit. A businessman, partner at Tao and Cohiba, Amit is originally from Panjim but met his wife Gosia when she was studying in London and he was working there. “Margaret (her real name), everyone calls her Gosia, is from Poland. She travels up and down a lot more, and it is tough on her,” says Amit, adding, “It is difficult but we signed up for it and we don’t take anything for granted. What is tough for her, is normal here. It’s a lot of work, no doubt. Since I am mostly here, she travels to Poland whenever she can, atleast four times for long stretches,” says the father of a 15-month-old bundle of joy Naomi.
Gosia, who misses her outdoorsy life in Poland, recalls camping and outdoor activities back home that she misses out on, and this is also what makes her love Goa. In fact, she is sure that the beach state would be the only place in India she would live in, “I go about four times, in fact, I just came back. It’s been several years and while it is challenging adapting to new cultures, I have learnt to cook Indian food, channa masala and biryani, but it has taken time.
The positives are many, I can go home when it’s sunny and not have to deal with terrible winters. I miss my family,” she says, adding, “I love the Indian people, they are good-hearted and helpful. They step out of their comfort zone to help. My in-laws are wonderful, supportive and non-interfering,” says Gosia, who is already giving Naomi lessons in two cultures, and languages too. But it all comes with its fair share of angst too, “Moving was the hardest. I was moving to a beautiful country, which is a dream for many... while it was beautiful, a new experience, gave us wings across Europe, yet it was also tough. The whole paperwork is a hassle, and a lengthy process but systematic. For someone who was independent and running her own business, it was difficult once the novelty of the experience starts wearing off, and reality hits you.... The language is a huge barrier and of course, getting a job is practically impossible, no matter how qualified or educated you are, it’s like starting all over again,” says Angeline.
Costs also deter many couples from having two separate lives, and having children can also bring out a more practical side, and this is something that works on everyone’s mind, “The cost of living is very high... if both members are working then life is easier for the little pleasures of life over the weekend, but with one member working, it’s a struggle too,” says a pragmatic Angeline. Fate decreed that these besotted entities fly to new pastures together, and they are only happier because of it.
