With Valentine’s Day falling tomorrow, love is in the air. But love can be a confusing emotion that is capable of causing us both joy and suffering. There is an enlightening conversation between the Buddha and King Pasenadi from the book Old Path, White Clouds by Thich Nhat Hanh, which expounds on the Buddhist thinking on this subject.

Thich Nhat Hanh quotes the King while asking, “Teacher Gautama, there are some who say you advise people not to love. They say you have said that the more a person loves, the more he will suffer and despair. I can see some truth in that statement, but I am unable to find peace with it. Without love, life would seem empty of meaning. Please help me resolve this.”

The Buddha answered with a very pertinent response, as per the book, “Your majesty, your question is a very good one, and many people can benefit from it. There are many kinds of love. We should examine closely the nature of each kind of love. Life has a great need of the presence of love, but not the sort of love that is based on lust, passion, attachment, discrimination and prejudice.

“Majesty, there is another kind of love, sorely needed, which consists of loving kindness and compassion, or maitri and karuna. “Maitri is the love that has the capacity to bring happiness to another. Karuna is the love that has the capacity to remove another’s suffering. Maitri and karuna do not demand anything in return.

Poonam Srivastava, author of T-Junction Crossing Over for Change, can be contacted at m4moment@gmail.com