Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris’ relationship was quite well-documented on social media. The two, however, broke up after a 15-month-long relationship and went on to delete all traces of their relationship from their accounts on various platforms. But after the abrupt change, the two suffered multiple gaffes with Calvin even unfollowing and then later re-following Taylor on Twitter and Instagram. He also deleted a cordial tweet about their break-up after images of the Blank Space singer cosying up with Tom Hiddleston appeared online.
One of the posts which was deleted by Taylor Swift
Taylor and Calvin’s predicament is common at a time when social media has become an integral part of our lives. Relationship experts we spoke to tell us social media can prove to be a minefield of heartache since it is often a reminder of what once was.
Relationship expert Seema Hingorany observes that dealing with an ex’s feeds on social media does prove to be a headache. She says, “Keeping your ex out of your social media account can work wonders for your health. Social media has made break-ups more difficult. Even if you don’t have to physically deal with your ex’s presence, their social media presence could be enough to create a trigger. Your ex’s feed could hamper your emotional state. It’s worse when your ex decides to take a jibe at you on social media.”
Removing your ex from your social media account saves you the stress, especially when you are used to tracking their updates.
Dr Kashish Chhabria, a psychologist and counsellor adds, “You may also share common friends who may tag your ex in a photo even after you may have removed them from your list. For some, this may turn out to be a downward spiral.”
While cutting off ties on social media may seem a little too extreme, relationship expert Chetna Mehrotra states that it is a necessary part of moving on. She says, “Out of sight is out of mind. Unfriending your ex on Facebook is the first step that one should undertake soon after the break-up. Removing your ex from your social media account saves you the stress, especially when you are used to tracking their updates.”
Khushboo Sen, parted ways with her ex after being in a relationship for four years. Though the couple parted amicably, she found it difficult to move on when Facebook constantly reminded her about the relationship with the “On this day” feature. She says, “The posts made me emotionally vulnerable. I found myself visiting his profile too many times in a day. This, in turn, affected me personally. I realised that having him on my feed did no good. I decided to unfriend him. I think I recovered quickly from the break-up once I deleted him.” Chetna states that avoiding activities like washing dirty linen in public and cyberstalking is the only social media etiquette one needs to follow. She says, “The decision to unfriend an ex on social media doesn’t need to be discussed with him/her, since moving on should be the only priority. Your social media account is not a contract where both parties have to inform each other. When your relationship has hit rock bottom, there isn’t much room for letting each other know.
However, don’t stalk them or sulk about your relationship through status updates. Deleting them from your list because you will be in a better frame of mind isn’t a crime.”
