The honeymoon phase of most relationships lasts for a short time. To make the relationship remain as strong as ever, make sure to constantly work at it. But sometimes, some things can’t be repaired.
In such a scenario, it is better to walk away from the marriage rather than punish yourself by being in an unhappy marriage. Many marriages crumble due to communication problems. Non-alignment of life goals and not valuing your partner are other factors that can contribute to a failed marriage.
All marriages have conflicts and most of them can be solved by therapy. But sometimes, it doesn’t seem worthy of repair. It is important to find out if you are going through a regular rough patch or have actually hit rock bottom. Here are some signs that will help you figure out the latter:
You’ll rarely have sex
Sex drives will vary from couple to couple. But if your intimate moments suddenly drop from multiple times a week to once in 10 days or so, then you have a serious problem at hand. “What makes marriage romantic is the combination of physical and emotional intimacy that’s reserved for just the two of you,” said Marni Feuerman, PsyD.
Lack of sex can make both the partners feel unwanted and rejected. Nothing else can replicate the intimacy that sex provides and if your desire starts to fade away, it means you aren’t attracted to your partner anymore. This could in turn spell doom for your marriage.
Everything they do irritates you
When things you used to find endearing have started irritating you, you know your marriage is in trouble. “There’s always something deeper and more individualised going on,” said Feuerman. This effectively means that the problem is with you.
Therapy can usually work in these cases, but it will work if both partners go in with an open mind. It is a major no-no to shame your spouse in front of the therapist. If this also fails, then parting ways is the feasible solution.
One of the partners cheated
Some spouses choose to forgive and forget when the other has an affair. But it is not always completely forgiven. You see some of the resentment resurfacing from time to time and it can negatively affect your relationship with your spouse.
Unhealed wounds like cheating can manifest in a number of unhealthy ways like guilt-tripping your partner and also not trusting them anymore. It is difficult to act as if the infidelity never happened thus it is better to part ways with your husband/wife.
Either you’ll argue all the time or don’t care enough to argue at all
If you find yourself arguing constantly with your spouse, it can mean that you’ll are not willing on making it work. Try and find out the reason behind your arguments and try resolving them. It may just be a way of venting out for your partner or maybe they find everything about you irritating. If you can’t find a middle ground, then maybe you’ll are not a good fit for each other anymore.
While a lot of fighting is worrisome, no fighting at all is even worse. It means that you’ll don’t care enough about each other to even fight for the relationship anymore. Trying finding a healthy outlet for your anger and resentment, lest it turns into something that can’t be undone.
Your life goals don’t match
Your spouse may want a baby, but you don’t. You may want to move to another country, but your spouse isn’t supporting your move. When some major life-altering decisions can’t find a common ground, then the relationship can’t sustain.