Tamil couples that live together and are sexually active — with contraceptives playing a big role in their relationships
Still from OK Kanmani
Of course, we all recall that epic scene in OK Kanmani when Nithya Menen leads a flustered Dulquer into the maternity ward of a hospital — causing the latter to think his girlfriend might be pregnant! Dulquer’s immediate reaction is to tell her that they used protection when they slept together, so how could this possibly happen?! It turns out to be a cheeky prank, but the scene was instantly indicative of several new-age Tamil couples that live together and are sexually active — with contraceptives playing a big role in their relationships.
With the recent family planning policy by the government, we could expect a change in how birth control methods are perceived. Not only are there going to be more options for birth control and contraception for women — from injectable ones to weekly pills, but it seems the stigma attached to being a sexually independent woman is slowly dissipating. The idea of a woman being in control of her sexuality has traditionally been met with horror and disgust by family, friends and society in general. But times could be changing, or will the words ‘sexually active’ and ‘not a virgin’ still have people running away from you?
“Women’s health is largely ignored in India, but it seems like we are slowly trying to catch up with other countries, where many options for birth control and contraception is actually available,” says Sahithya Jagannathan, a city-based model. “But it’s not just about availability, rather, it should be about changing the mindsets as well. This may be a step in the right direction, but I want there to be a day when discussion about menstruation or sexual choices is okay — and normal. Being responsible when sexually active with your boyfriend or husband is a huge deal, and a girl should discuss about birth control and child birth with her mother,” Sahithya opines. She adds — “I know it’s a personal decision, but it’s one to be made with all information at hand, with the support of her family.”
The thought echoes with Adhilakshmi Logamurthy, a city-based advocate of women and children’s issues and VP of the Women Lawyers Association. “The decision of the government will definitely benefit women, because they have a right to decide — whether it’s about marriage, having children or even relationships,” she says. However, she warns, the decision should be taken in the right perspective — proper awareness is needed about pre-marital sexual relations and the risks it brings.
For Judy Balan, a city-based writer, the decision doesn’t affect her personally. “While it’s nice that the taboo which comes with being sexually independent doesn’t exist now as much as in the past, women shouldn’t be concerned about needing approval to use birth control. The government may have approved many more contraceptives, but we already had enough options! If we wanted, we could have just bought them,” she exclaims. “I can’t really rejoice because on the one hand, you have such progressive policies being made, and on the other you have problems like moral policing. That is the much bigger problem,” Judy adds.
Actress and entrepreneur Lekha Washington has a different approach to this decision, and what it means for the sexually independent women in Chennai. “I can’t really comment on sexually active women because it’s their choice. But I also think that we should be looking at contraceptive options for men as well. Not just focus on women,” she concludes.
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( Source : deccan chronicle )
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