The central thought behind Bombay Velvet was powerful enough. Such a pity it was tossed aside to make an unappetising khichdi that has been declared the biggest turkey of 2015. It is a record that is likely to remain unchallenged.
Gangster Johnny Balraj, morosely played by Ranbir Kapoor, has just one ambition in his troubled life — he wants to become a “Big Shot”. I smiled when I heard those words — “Big Shot”. They reminded me of my father. He was definitely not a Big Shot. But he met several Big Shots, being a senior bureaucrat. Each time he told us about some “Big Shot” he had met, we would exchange knowing smiles. “Big Shot” did not have the best connotations in our home. Big Shots were bullies. They were people aware of their power. Big Shots made their own rules. Big Shots broke the law. Big Shots got away with everything.
Today’s Big Shots are no different. India has many Big Shots. A lot of them live in Delhi. The beacons on their cars have gone. The number of securitymen surrounding them has been scaled down. But one can always tell a Big Shot from the way he strides into a space. Female Big Shots adopt a slightly different body language. Amma is the biggest shot of this tribe. She knows it. Didi is also a Big Shot and don’t get fooled by her crumpled saree (that’s what makes her a Big Shot — the don’t-give-a damn attitude). Smriti Irani, perhaps, fancies herself as the BJP’s biggest female Big Shot. But India sees her differently — as an intelligent person who has been given the wrong job. Sushma Swaraj is the Behenji Big Shot. Her way with words gives her a special position.
Right now Delhi is still struggling with the Big Shot vs. Big Shot issue... who’ll blink first? Arvind Kejriwal is a closet Big Shot. He only pretends not to be one. Heck, even he realises the irony of an aam aadmi behaving publicly like a sultan — a lot like the very people he condemns. But wait... scratch the surface and the asli roop of Kejriwal emerges — dictatorial, stubborn. These are the precise negative traits of rivals he says he is fighting. Yes, it is difficult to tell them apart. The BJP of today is not all that different from the Congress of yesterday. It’s as top heavy and hierarchal as the Congress.
There are no maamuli log in status-obsessed India. If someone starts an IPL for celebrities, it will be an absolute winner. Inflated egos abound, from overpaid cricketers to over-exposed movie stars. Every possible photo-op has spawned a mini-industry — from catching Big Shots “off guard” while leaving funerals, hospitals, restaurants, screenings, sporting events, shopping malls, to catching them waving to fans from their balconies like the Pope or British Royals. Since there is no Vatican equivalent here, we create our own version with orchestrated visits to pilgrimage sites.
In corporate India, every CEO/CFO is a Big Shot. In earlier times, it was the maalik who enjoyed this privilege. These were the new maharajahs, worshipped by employees. Others travelled with their top dogs, whose job on international flights was to stand outside the loo, holding the boss’ whiskey tumbler, while he relieved himself. You’d think such abject displays of servility have disappeared. No chance! On any given domestic flight, every seat in the business class is taken by self-styled Big Shots, with minions seated in the front row of cattle class, ready to assist the VIP.
Arnab Goswami’s frequent television exposes of this nauseating VVIP culture have definitely generated greater awareness in the minds of the public. But the ground reality remains the same — those who are caught and shamed, brazen it out by stating such a blatant misuse of privileges is part of their hard-won success!
Yes, Big Shots can “manage” virtually anything in India. Which is why the Biggest Shots of all are our superstar lawyers. The best dowry gift these days is not kilos of gold, a penthouse, a sports car! Oh no! Nothing tops the gift of providing the pricey services of a brilliant lawyer to your beloved beti. That’s described as true class and clout in an India where money is no longer sexy. The only game of oneupmanship worth playing involves retaining the sharpest legal eagle around. If you don’t have a Big Shot fixer at your beck and call – you’re nothing! Dhadam, Dhadam goes the song in Bombay Velvet. Who says Big Shots have it easy?
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