Kalki Koechlin’s brutally honest performance as a spirited girl in a wheelchair, on a voyage of self-discovery, in Shonali Bose’s Margarita With a Straw is getting the kind of notice very few actors do. Of course, the acclaim is due in no small part to Kalki’s staunch pursuit of excellence. In an interview with us, Kalki describes the process of embracing her character’s disability and more.
Your performance in Margarita With A Straw has been greeted by much praise. Did you expect this kind of a response?
I did not know what to expect. It’s always been a difficult role to judge for myself. I had to trust Shonali completely when it came to performing. I did not and was not allowed to look at the monitor even once during the shoot, so externally, I had no idea what it looked like. Anyway, I did not expect such huge praise from every part of the world.
What is the best response you’ve had to your performance?
That I was really someone with cerebral palsy in real life — that’s really the best compliment to have.
How/with whom did you work to get the nuances of the character?
I worked closely with Shonali’s sister Malini Chib who has cerebral palsy. We spent a lot of time, went out for films, dinner, stayed at her home with her family and through her, I met others at the ADAPT Centre who also have cerebral palsy. I met her physiotherapist and speech therapist to understand how the breathing and muscles function. I also practised for many months, doing activities like making breakfast or working on the computer as Laila so that it became a habit, a sort of muscle memory. Finally we did a six-week workshop Shonali arranged with Adil Hussain and worked on the physicality and psychology of the character. And I stayed in character throughout the film shoot.
Your eyes seem to reflect a lot of pain… does that come from your personal experiences or is it from the stress and turmoil while shooting for this film?
An actor has to draw from his/her own life all the time, to connect with the character. But I believe it was the exhaustion of actually staying in that wheelchair the whole time, having people staring at me, looking at me with pity and judging me as infantile — the frustration I felt for being treated this way, I really used that.
Both you and your director Shonali Bose went through painful breakups in your marriages, before embarking on the making of this film. Did that provide a common ground of bonding between you two?
I don’t think I want to talk about the process as it was very personal, but Shonali and I did share a lot of personal stories.
Margarita With A Straw displays an exceptional level of sexual frankness about its protagonist. How difficult was it for you to completely surrender to your character’s desperation and frustration?
I think that conceptually, it was not difficult because I saw how important and necessary it was for the character to go through that, to show her human and real nature. But shooting it on set was a whole other ballgame and I was very awkward and nervous in front of the crew. But maybe that also helped the performance since Laila would be awkward and nervous.
The film shows homosexual love and lovemaking when homosexuality is illegal in India. Do you see a dichotomy there?
No, I still believe we are a democracy which means freedom of speech and I do not see how if something is illegal, it ceases to exist. It is a real part of society whether or not it is illegal.
What is your opinion on the way society, especially in India, treats the specially-abled?
There is very little awareness about disability, and we don’t see the 80 crore disabled people in daily life. There is a lack of infrastructure and education on disability.
Do you think there ought to be more sensitisation amongst the normally-abled in how to deal with the differently abled?
Absolutely, there should be integrated schools and education for parents as well.
So now do you fear that you may never again get a role like Margarita?
It’s not a fear, it’s a fact. This was a once in a lifetime role.
