Women think that men are good-for-nothing, a waste of space on the planet, and to top it all, they suffer from an inherent inexplicable duality of laziness and restlessness that makes them even harder to bear. While that all may be true ladies, allow me to clarify that it is very tough to be a man. In fact, on most days, it is a full-time job really. Allow me then to shed some light on this yin-yang complexity that are men.
First of all, men weren’t born equipped. Unlike women, who clearly come into this world better prepared, men are forced to acquire their skill set as they move along the chronological path.From basic social etiquette to complex mergers and acquisitions and everything in-between, we men have to pick up the pieces and retain them for future recall. Practice does help inculcate a sense of habit but it is all generally short-lived. This need to constantly learn from the environment is more a survival tactic than a healthy inquisitive interaction with our environment.
Consequently, it is only normal that we neither enjoy it nor look forward to it. We men just don’t have a choice about it. But this heightened sense of functioning is bound to be a drain on our systems and consequently we get tired very easily. All the waking hours of focusing on not mucking up takes its toll and we are barely left with enough energy to pump blood, let alone be social and shake hands. So when giving orders to a man, which we don’t object to by the way, just make sure it’s nothing too strenuous.
Anything more obviously straining than say lifting a finger could be deemed dangerous.And most importantly, when giving us a task, ensure that it is not bound in time. As long as we get about to it anywhere between now and the point we die and evaporate, is requisite leeway and hence we can’t be pulled up for “allegedly” not having done it. We men don’t like to be bound by time.
Time is a virtual construct of human origin devised to keep technology in check and hence it should have no bearing on something as ethereal, sublime and pure as the relationship between a man and a woman.And then, that is not all. All this laziness would be easy to explain if it were that straightforward. Being hard-wired to learn and listen, obey and perform 24/7/365, it turns us simple men into machines that just don’t know how to switch off. Consequently, when we do try to, we merely end up finding ourselves vacant and starved for something new. Here again, the habitual scare creeps in, for we men realise somewhere that if we stop learning then it would be hard to get back on that horse again.
In other words, even when we are lazy, we are somewhat restless.Now to you dear women, this duality may seem not only illogical but downright impossible to sustain. Well, that is what makes men special for we can be both at the same time. We are like a high and a low tide, like day and night; think of us like an eclipse in the space of civilisation. It may not sound like entirely a good thing but it is a thing and one needn’t judge it for mere virtue.
So the next time your man hasn’t performed a task you allocated him even as he wearily idles in front of the TV, don’t nag him for his lazy demeanour; chances are that even this silent recluse is restlessly learning something new about the world that surrounds him.
The writer is a lover of wine, song and everything fine
