Identifying whether or not you’re in an abusive relationship in time is vital
Actress Sarah Hyland has been battling trying circumstances. Weeks after reports emerged that she had broken up with her boyfriend of five years, actor Matt Prokop
She’s known for playing the happy-go-lucky Haley Dunphy on the popular sitcom Modern Family, but in real life, actress Sarah Hyland has been battling trying circumstances. Weeks after reports emerged that she had broken up with her boyfriend of five years, actor Matt Prokop, new accounts stated that she had sought a restraining order against him.
Sarah mentioned in court documents, parts of which were published by American magazines, that Matt attempted to choke her and threatened her; she also admitted that she knew she was “in an abusive relationship”. Fans online reacted with shock to the news, since just a couple of years ago, Sarah mentioned how supportive Matt had been while she recuperated from a kidney transplant.
While Sarah has now distanced herself from the relationship, there are many who are unable to make a clean break because of the complicated nature of an abusive equation. One major reason for this, experts say, is that people are confused about what their role as a partner in a relationship means. Very few understand what their criteria for an empowering, healthy relationship is before they embrace coupledom. This makes them “powerless and clueless”, opines life coach Khyati Birla.
Khyati says it is important to distinguish emotional abuse from being emotionally abusive. “Everyone hurts their partners emotionally at some time or the other,” she points out. “That’s emotional abuse. But when such negative behaviour is the norm, then you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.” While violence or threats of violence are an extreme feature of these relationships, there are passive forms of abuse as well.
“If your partner constantly scrutinises who you interact with, is very authoritative with you, then it is a cause for concern,” says psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty. “Emotional abuse can take the form of being suspicious, needless blaming, with holding sex or other essentials, insulting you in public etc. You need to be cautious if you find your partner overbearing,” Dr Shetty says.
Associated social stigma often prevents people from speaking out about abuse in a relationship, and cultural norms too emphasise a “let it stay behind closed doors” policy for victims. Consistent abusers are also great “manipulators” they can exploit you emotionally to their advantage, and isolate you. Then again, say experts, sometimes we are so dedicated to a relationship, that we give in to everything a partner demands, in our quest for love and emotional companionship.
“Sometimes, individuals with an abusive partner develop a kind of ‘Stockholm Syndrome’, where you fall in ‘love’ with your oppressor. The one being suppressed does not realise that he or she is being abused. And this situation is very risky: One might lose one’s identity, self-esteem and confidence; sometimes people develop split personalities,” cautions life coach Chetna Mehrotra. “It is vital to move out of such relationships immediately, by seeking help from a confidante and/or a therapist.”
( Source : dc correspondent )
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