In the early stages of dating, you may try to put your partner at ease by taking the initiative. Is it too much?
Multiple messages or justifications
It’s not like men dislike women who speak too much. Well that may be the case in some instances but textual overdose can be a big issue. If you’re going to keep badgering him with texts and worse, justifying what you said over and over again, he’s going to be very justifiably wary of you.
Why would you jokingly call him “adorable” and then spend the next 24 hours justifying via calls and texts that you weren’t coming on too strong. If that overjustification isn’t a textbook case of “coming on too strong”, God knows what is. Be cool. If you haven’t been rude, don’t go back after a date and send long texts of how much you enjoyed with him and how you wish he doesn’t misunderstand your enthusiasm.
If he wanted a minutes-of-the-meeting kind of report, he would’ve hired a secretary. Don’t be the clingy girl who can’t help but hold on to every little thing he throws your way.
Over-eager to foot the bill
The newer dating rules suggest there be an equitable distribution of expenses. With an increasing number of women earning as much if not for more than their partners, it is only natural for a couple to go Dutch. But don’t let your over-enthusiasm make you pick up every bill that comes your way.
It can be misunderstood as either your lack of faith in his ability to pay his share or worse, your overconfidence in your own ability to pay for yourself. Talk about and see how you’ll want to split the expenses.
If the previous generation of women can be faulted for letting only the men pay, then the current one can be held guilty of not letting their successors do the same.
Staging an accidental encounter
You may have genuinely bumped into your date at a place you weren’t planning on meeting. But don’t make a habit out of this coincidence. Men can sniff such pretense from a mile. You come across as desperate and needy, and that can never bode well for a healthy relationship.
Also by doing this too frequently, you give him the impression that you’re suspicious of his life beyond you. So unless you really think he’s up to some hanky panky while pledging his loyalty to you, do not indulge in such theatrics. Fewer people can pull of such a charade than you would realise.
Too sexual too soon
Most men like dating women who flirt intelligently and exude a natural confidence in their ability to flirt. Being confident is one thing; but being horny is a whole different ball game. By all means tell him how desirable he is, but don’t sport a plunging neckline on your second date.
Also, some men like it if the woman takes the lead. And why not? It is a progressive thing to do and definitely reeks of self-assured behaviour. That said, don’t grope him when all he’s done is held your hand in the cab. Unless you’re dead sure of how he’s going to respond, don’t throw your sexuality in his face.
It may seem kinky but different people have different measures for how much is too much. You do not want to either be misinterpreted as “easy”, nor do you want to put him off too soon just because you cut the chase. Proceed with caution.
Talking about your future and children
Never ever talk about a joint investment or children when he hasn’t even asked you out. The last thing you want to do to a man you’ve dated for a week is talk to him about how gorgeous your children would look. Don’t try and bait him with a “we should totally move into that house” kind of statement.
Not only will you raise his “creep alert” antenna, you also end up making yourself too available and too much at his disposal. There’s a right time for everything. Sadly, children and houses are not up for discussion until you’ve dated a bit.
